I Love This! No, actually I hate it! The Difficult Life of a Toddler

Let me tell you about a person in my life. Somebody I have to deal with every single day. This somebody is not an easy person. In fact, this someone drives me crazy every now and then. One day this person loves some food and the next day we can’t serve it, although that’s what we literally lived off for a week. There are days when the same food for breakfast, lunch and dinner is OK, and then there are days when searching for the good-enough food is fruitless (pun intended)…

There are days, when it seems like this person’s drawers are full of cool clothes; then this closet that’s bursting on the hinges has nothing to offer and no shoes are not good enough, all outer layers are horrible and we just need to go shopping.

Sometimes going to the park seems like the best idea ever, but the next day it’s too cold/hot/noisy/quiet… the complains don’t stop once they start!

Sometimes any book will do. All the pages are so colourful! So beautiful! Sometimes a library won’t have a single sheet that could satisfy the moodiness…

Shall I go on? You get the idea. By now you think you know who I’m talking about. I bet I know who you’re picturing right now. You think I am describing my toddler, right? Right? Well, I have just described a full grown adult. This is me. Totally me.

Not an easy person. Opinionated, yet lost at times. Sometimes I just know what’s planned for the day ahead and then sometimes I just can’t manage what was supposed to be done quick… Sometimes I crave a food that I normally dislike. There are moments when a certain dress is fabulous and then I want to toss it in the bin. We all have moods, tastes and thoughts that change with outer (and inner, let’s not forget inner 😉 ) influences.

Now imagine the toddler you thought I was talking about. He has good days and not so good days. But he can’t always decide what he would do, eat, wear, because he doesn’t have the experience and the abilities… and that’s just the beginning. His problem is that he can’t fully express himself yet. Even if he could say a few words, even if he could sign, he wouldn’t be able to tell me exactly how and WHY he feels in a certain way. Again, even we adults aren’t always able to do that – why else there would be help lines, shrinks and group therapies? And BFFs? And …. well, even Sigmund Freud was a big boy when he was trying to get into our heads.

It’s a difficult world out there. It’s a VERY difficult world inside too. Every time I am about to get mad, because this little man is acting up, not eating, not “cooperating”, I have to remember how much effort it sometimes takes me to be a big girl. How much effort it sometimes takes to control myself and reason with my inner alter egos.

I have to remind myself of something I read once: that this beautiful person, that my toddler is, is not GIVING me a hard time, he is HAVING a hard time. And I am here to help him, guide him and teach him how to be a big boy. And by doing that I am helping myself, guiding myself and teaching myself how to be an adult.

Come here, Aditya! Mommy needs a hug!

Getting Ready To Go Out With A Baby

I don’t know how mums of two and more kids do it, there is probably more crying in the house. I admire the women, if there is no crying… because with this little fella, you know when I’m holding him and when I’m not. He just doesn’t like being alone (or as my husband likes to call it, he has ‘abandonment issues’ already). So if I leave him in the bedroom to get dressed and apply make-up (yes, this mama needs make-up to make up for the lack of sleep on some nights;), he will usually start crying or at least sobbing. I can take it for a moment, but when I see he won’t soothe himself this time, I’d just rather pick him up. It’s easier doing things with one hand (or whilst having him in a sling) than having to calm him down.

So here is my humble recipe how I make it work:

Dressing up: I put the little one on our bed (yes, the big bed he gets to share with the two big people who keep kissing him), bring my clothes and lay them next to him. Then I proceed to put the clothes on. I keep talking to him describing what I’m wearing and I show him each piece – he gets a dose of vocabulary and likes when something is flying above his head. Sometimes I touch his face with the fabric, he squeaks with delight!

Make-up application is interesting. We have a rather large wash basin area – without it this trick would not be possible. I sit him down on a towel (so it’s not cold for his tush) and support his back with my stomach. I hold him with one hand and the other use for make-up application! He loves watching himself and mummy in the mirror and when he gets wiggly, he gets to hold bottle tops or brushes. And I again keep taking to him or sing songs to keep him entertained and make it our mummy-and-me time!   image

This Baby Is Going to Grow Up

This baby is going to grow up.

One day he will be a toddler. Then a kid. And as he is meeting new milestones every day, he is “forgetting” some things in the process. And I will be missing those baby things. This post is for all the mothers, who wish their baby stays a newborn:)

How many times I heard since Aditya was born “Aaaah, I wish to have a baby again. Maybe we’ll have a second one (third/ fourth… pick what suits your situation). I just miss having a tiny baby.” Well, you had one (two/ three… pick…) and they ALL GROW UP. They do. You’ll never be stuck with a baby foreva, sister. Must I remind you??? Keep your friends close and eventually one of them will have a baby. And then you can coo and aaah, but when they start crying, you can return them back to their mama.

I have just returned from a birthday celebration. The honoree turned 5. His friends are 5 or so. When I arrived, the celebrant was crying. He wanted to open his presents. Daddy said OK, so he opened a few of them. Two more kids started crying. They wanted what he had and they wanted to play with the presents. So Mummy said “we’ll open the rest at home.” Another kid started crying. He picked the present himself and wanted to see what his friend says when he opens it. Another kid is crying because his brother is crying. So by now about half of the kids are crying. “Let’s have some more cake!”
And after the cake the kids are playing. One is crying, because another hit him. The hitter is crying because he doesn’t want to say sorry.

So this is what I’m supposed to be looking forward to? I wish this baby stayed small like this, I thought. Naaaah, do I really want to miss all the new things he will show me and teach me every single day? Nope. I can’t wait when he turns 5 and all the kids will be crying at his birthday celebration.

This baby is going to grow up. And it’s OK.